Diary of a Fat Girl

Confessions of an Ice Creamaholic

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Diary of a Fat Girl – Day 2

Weight:  I was told not to weigh myself more than once a week. 

I felt good today.  I was still groggy when I woke for my usual trip to that place we call work.  I think I need to stop eating sugar all together.  I read The Fertility Diet and sugar is one of my many downfalls.  It encourages my allergies, discourages my fertility, and packs on the pounds.  A tough lesson I learned when I gained 50 pounds in the first three months of living on my own away from my mother. 

I have an addiction to sugar.  Ice cream is my addiction of choice, and apparently it runs in the family.  My grandfather would have each of his four children run to the store to buy him chocolate malts after they returned home from school.  My grandmother, who diligently prepared his healthy meals, could not figure out why he was packing on the pounds so quickly.  Until one day when she returned home from work to catch that slurping sound from another empty malt as my grandfather reached for his fourth and final chocolate malt for the day. 

Grandpa’s mother also had an addiction to ice cream.  After her release from the hospital, this elderly needed help from her children for some of her basic needs.  My grandparents knew of her love of ice cream and filled her freezer chest full of tubs of ice cream to last until their next visit.  They lived in Michigan and she lived in Ohio and it would often be several months before they could visit

A couple of days after their return to Michigan, Grandpa received an angry call from his brother.  He had checked in on Great-Grandma and discovered multiple empty ice cream containers lying around the house.  He glanced into the freezer and to his horror he could only see the empty floor and frosted covered walls.  Great-Grandma had also requested ice cream for her funeral.  At her final communion, guests would partake in tomato juice for the wine and ice cream for the bread.

It’s obvious to see that I have learned from generations before me on how to not eat healthy.  So, this book-learned individual would need to read every article and every book on healthy eating.  No problem.  I love books!

The books have taught me many things, but I lack the inner strength and will power to sustain healthy eating habits.  I know this because of my many failed attempts.  However, I have come to the conclusion that if I slowly, one step at a time, incorporate healthy eating habits into my daily lifestyle I will somehow begin to eat healthy.

I no longer have that tub of ice cream in the freezer.  I decided that if it is not there, I would be too lazy to run to the store to buy some.  If the urge was too strong to resist and I find myself in front of the multitude of delicious flavors, I grab the smallest most expensive one.  I don’t like to waste money and the constant reminder that I just dumped four dollars on two scoops of ice cream will keep me away for awhile longer.

Therefore, yesterday I announced to my co-workers that I was on a sugar strike but caved in anyway.  Today, my supervisor offered me a licorice stick and as I opened my mouth to decline she quickly retracted her words remembering my desire to be sugar free.  I felt elated that I had support at work since I have been told that they are a food loving group of people.

So, I declined that little piece of sugar, but I couldn’t resist the popcorn that was being offered for Jean Friday.  Another perk of being an employee at a well established financial institution.  The popcorn was smothered in oil and salted with nacho cheese flavoring.

Hmmm… Could my swelling ankles be the result of the amount of sodium intake?  Note to self:  Once I have control of the sugar issue I must control the salt issue.

My husband stopped by earlier today to take me out to lunch to my favorite taco joint.  I had learned earlier in the year that tacos taste better without the beef, and I placed my order for a crunchy taco with lettuce, cheese, beans, and sour cream with a cheese quesidilla and an iced tea (no sugar).  Maybe I should have ordered two tacos and skipped the quesidilla.

Since I spent time with a friend watching a funny movie that made me cry and drinking a medium lemonade that should have been called an extra large, we ended up at a local Coney Island restaurant for dinner.  I was pleased with myself for resisting those large boxes of candy at the theater, and I settled into a booth with a glass of water; ordering a grilled cheese on rye with cheesy fries.  I saw the grease and the salt, but the meal tasted delicious.  I should have settled for the salad.

My body is beginning to ache from my exercises yesterday.  I feel it mostly in the arms and thighs.  I’m a little disappointed that I don’t feel it in the mid-section since I know that it sticks way out there.  Dannie said that I need to have a day off between exercises to give my body a rest.  Tomorrow is Saturday and I won’t be making it to the gym.  I have too much to do around the house.  Does laundry count as exercise?  Maybe I can incorporate a walk.