Diary of a Fat Girl

Confessions of an Ice Creamaholic

Diary of a Fat Girl – Day 2

Weight: I was told not to weigh myself more than once a week.

I felt good today. I was still groggy when I woke up for my usual trip to that place we call work. I need to stop eating sugar altogether. I read The Fertility Diet, and sugar is one of my many downfalls. It encourages my allergies, discourages my fertility, and packs on the pounds. A tough lesson I learned was when I gained 50 pounds in the first three months of living on my own away from my mother.

I have a sugar addiction. Ice cream is my addiction; apparently, it runs in the family. After they returned home from school, my grandfather would have each of his four children run to the store to buy him chocolate malts. My grandmother, who diligently prepared his healthy meals, could not figure out why he was gaining weight so quickly. Until one day when she returned home from work to catch that slurping sound from another empty malt as my grandfather reached for his fourth and final chocolate malt for the day.

Grandpa’s mother also had an addiction to ice cream. After her release from the hospital, this elderly needed help from her children for some of her basic needs. My grandparents knew of her love of ice cream and filled her freezer chest full of tubs of ice cream to last until their next visit. They lived in Michigan, and she lived in Ohio, and it would often be several months before they could visit.

A couple of days after their return to Michigan, Grandpa received an angry call from his brother. He had checked in on Great-Grandma and discovered multiple empty ice cream containers around the house. He glanced into the freezer, and to his horror, he could only see the bare floor and frosted-covered walls. Great-Grandma had also requested ice cream for her funeral. At her final communion, guests would partake in tomato juice for the wine and ice cream for the bread.

I have learned from generations before me how not to eat healthily. So, this book-learned individual would need to read every article and every book on healthy eating. No problem. I love books!

The books taught me many things. However, I need more strength and willpower to sustain healthy eating habits. I know this because of my many failed attempts. However, I have concluded that if I slowly incorporate healthy eating habits into my daily lifestyle one step at a time, I will somehow begin to eat healthily.

I no longer have that tub of ice cream in the freezer. I decided that if it were not there, I would be too lazy to run to the store to buy some. If the urge is too strong to resist and I find myself in front of the multitude of delicious flavors, I grab the smallest, most expensive one. I don’t like to waste money, and the constant reminder that I just dumped four dollars on two scoops of ice cream will keep me away for a while longer.

Therefore, yesterday I announced to my co-workers that I was on a sugar strike but caved in anyway. Today, my supervisor offered me a licorice stick. As I opened my mouth to decline, she quickly retracted her words, remembering my desire to be sugar-free. I felt elated that I had support at work since they were a food-loving group.

So, I declined that little piece of sugar. Still, I couldn’t resist the popcorn offered for Jean Friday—another perk of being an employee at a well-established financial institution. The popcorn was smothered in oil and salted with nacho cheese flavoring.

Hmmm… Could my swelling ankles be the result of the amount of sodium intake? Note to self: Once I have control of the sugar issue, I must control the salt issue.

My husband stopped by earlier today to take me to lunch at my favorite taco joint. I had learned earlier in the year that tacos taste better without beef. So I ordered a crunchy taco with lettuce, cheese, beans, sour cream, a cheese quesadilla, and an iced tea (no sugar). I should have ordered two tacos and skipped the quesadilla.

Since I spent time with a friend watching a funny movie that made me cry and drinking a medium lemonade that should have been called an extra large, we ended up at a local Coney Island restaurant for dinner. I was pleased with myself for resisting those candy boxes at the theater. I settled into a booth with a glass of water, ordering a grilled cheese on rye with cheesy fries. I saw the grease and the salt, but the meal tasted delicious. I should have settled for the salad.

My body is beginning to ache from my exercises yesterday. I feel it mainly in the arms and thighs. I’m disappointed that I don’t feel it in the mid-section since I know it sticks way out there. Dannie said I needed to have a day off between exercises to rest my body. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I won’t make it to the gym. I have too much to do around the house. Does laundry count as exercise? Maybe I can incorporate a walk.