Diary of a Fat Girl

The 17 Day Diet Journal Day 4

Diary of a Fat Girl – Day 257

I cheated today. Oh, the horror! I really wanted that cupcake, and I kept telling my husband about that cupcake.

“It won’t hurt if we take a small bite,” he said.

“No! We can’t. It’s not a part of the first cycle,” I said.

I suppose he got tired of listening to my talk about the fluffy, creamy, and sweet dessert because he then proceeded to go upstairs to study for his classes.

I was unpacking more boxes and organizing the cupboards when I found them. I was thinking how good it would be to have some, but I was committed to this diet and decided to save it as a reward after we reached the Achieve Cycle. Then, I found another like it, and another, and another; these sweet candies just waiting to be savored. With my arm full of treats, I glanced over to the counter and settled on a recently unpacked dish, begging to be filled with goodness. I rushed to the empty jar and stowed away those delicious little treats. As I wiped the drool from my chin, I patted myself on the back for not diving headfirst into those candies.

Richie returned from class, regaling me with a story of cookies and chocolate milk. He, too, was tempted and turned it away. And like a good little boy, he politely declined his classmates and told them about the 17 Day Diet. He was very proud of himself for having great control in a classroom full of cookie munchers and chocolate milk sippers. I was proud of him, too.

This story, however, did not help my cravings. Diligently eating my dinner of steamed fish, raw vegetables, and garlic-seasoned yogurt dip, my mind tossed around the idea of having that sweet little treat dissolving on the tip of my tongue.

After my husband had climbed the stairs for much-needed study time, I snuck into the kitchen, opened that jar, and plucked a piece of candy out of its little dark hiding place. As quickly as I plucked it out, I replaced it. I couldn’t do it. All this hard work and effort that I was putting into the detoxification process of this diet would go down the drain.

As I replaced the lid of the jar, I spotted a shiny green and white package. Yes! I can eat the Heavenly Organic Chocolate Mint Patties.

As I came up with all the reasons why this was good for me (it’s organic, made of raw honey and unsweetened chocolate), I began to unwrap this tiny little treat. I took one bite, and the chocolate melted on my tongue, and the peppermint goodness filled my mouth. I then finished it on a second bite, savoring every last bit.

I walked over to the couch and sat down when I realized I still had the wrapper in my hand. So I flipped it over and found the nutrition label.

“Twenty-one grams of carbs; are you kidding me?!” I blurted out, “This can’t be right. What’s the serving size?

Pangs of guilt began to wash over me as I searched for the serving size, hoping my husband didn’t hear my outburst. Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that three patties made up a serving size.

I am glad that I stopped at one. My first cheat on this diet, and I am so happy that it wasn’t a cupcake.