Diary of a Fat Girl – Beyond the first year
Weight: 242 lbs.
I have been watching the episodes of Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. After the first episode, I thought that it was awesome that a trainer would take it upon himself to personally train the morbidly obese to lose weight in one year. A most recent episode focused on a 20 year-old named Alex whose weight was 459 pounds. In one year he lost over 210 pounds; an amazing accomplishment.
It makes me pause to think about the goal I had set for myself over a year ago. I wanted to lose 80 pounds in one year. How insane am I to think that I could lose only 80 pounds with little effort? Here Alex, and others like him, made a commitment and worked their butts off, literally! Then there I was, making a commitment and following a three-day-a-week workout and a slow adjustment to my diet. It’s no wonder why I lost little weight and gained it all back.
I attended church recently, and the pastor invited our family out to lunch with his family. Among his stories, he told us of a gentleman who would always give 100% commitment on any goal he sets in his life; whether it was his beliefs or marrying the woman of his dreams. This individual decided he would train in the army for the special services. He dived right in and sometime later hurt his leg. He knew that if he left he would be considered a “wash-out” and never be able to come back to the training. This man continued for a week on his injured leg before he finally had to leave to obtain medical attention. Once his x-rays were completed, the doctor informed him that he had been training on a broken leg.
Imagine that! This man was so committed to his training that he worked through the excruciating pain of a broken leg. Alex continued through his training despite the extra skin causing rashes from his workouts, despite sprained ankles and bruised abdomens from a collision against a brick wall while climbing down a rope.
Alex made me see that it is possible to lose over 200 pounds in one year. If that is the case then I know I could lose 100 pounds in one year. I just need to give 100% commitment and work through the pain, the tears, the sweat, and the temptations. I want to be able to jog without getting winded, I want to wake up in the morning without excruciating back pain, and I want to be able to fit into those skinny jeans, again.
Do I want to continue this slothful lifestyle which causes me pain everyday and will eventually shorten my lifespan, or do I want to live longer with a healthy lifestyle that I can pass down in my own family?
It’s time that I stop making up excuses and start putting my all into a healthy lifestyle. No more complacency and minimal effort. It’s time to commit to a daily workout that includes both weights and cardio. It’s time to focus on my intake of food and log those calories, fat grams, carbohydrates and sodium. It’s time to push myself and live that healthy lifestyle once and for all.
I originally was going to conclude my year as a good-bye to all, but I must continue to tread on. Many have commented their encouragement for me to continue to write this diary, despite the pitfalls and disappointment. I cannot seem to stop writing it as I continue the search for a healthier and lighter me. My hope is that one day I will have finally achieved enlightenment in my eating habits. I will finally know when to say, “I have had enough,” and I will finally be able to exercise as an habitual routine instead of reaching for that candy bar. I may not be any lighter than I ever want to be, but I will have confidence in knowing that I have done everything I could and will continue to live that healthy lifestyle that I have dreamed to achieve.
In the meantime, I will forge ahead. I am now going to say good-bye to those trainers that say I should not push myself beyond three days a week. Adios Amigos! Parting is such sweet sorrow… for you, but for me parting is one step closer to those skinny jeans.