“On wasting time – Time can waste as well as be wasted.” – Meditations From A Course In Miracles
I pride myself on being a very productive woman. However, when I reflect on my year-long absence from the working world, I wonder if I haven’t been as productive as I could have been. It makes me think back to the goals that I had set out for myself last year at this time, and I am heartbroken to know that I have not accomplished what I had set out to do.
The first of November has come and gone. I started writing my book last year during National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), and I finished it earlier this year. Unfortunately, it was 25,000 words short and needed some serious revisions. While editing, I only worked through a third of the book and added about 3,000 words. Looking back, I should have focused on my book more than I could have.
This is a difficult book for me to write. After all, it dives into the deepest, darkest times of my childhood. I have to relive terrible memories to tell a story. Yet, I would rather run away as fast as possible instead of facing my fears head-on and dealing with the emotions that pour out during this process. So I have been most content to leave it be.
Now, I am struck with another dilemma. Should I join NaNoWriMo this year and start a new novel or finish my current book once and for all? Some might say, “Why not do both?”
As fun as that would be, I find that I have been doing a lot for others lately. No complaints here since my good deeds are also benefiting me. Therefore, I have been busy and magically landed on the creative roller coaster. I am exhilarated by the mounds of ideas that seem to pop up out of nowhere, and I can barely keep up with my pen!
Again, I’m not complaining. On the contrary, I am actually enjoying this. I came up with new ideas for my current blog as well as my new blog, and I am also writing web content for a forum. In addition, I just finished an article for the ThumbPrint News (which will be published in December of this year). All in all, building up my credentials so I can query for additional articles and books when I am ready for submissions.
So what does this have to do with today’s meditation?
Up until recently, I was wasting my time. I allowed each day to slip under my fingers and pass into history without a word written. But today, I am actively thinking about new ideas, writing more articles on my blogs, writing in journals, and doing all of this while babysitting my nephew and helping out a friend in her time of need.
Luckily, my husband has been distracted by his studies. Otherwise, we would be fighting about the need for more time spent with each other. Unfortunately, with the both of us preoccupied, we don’t realize how much we miss each other until we retire for bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms.
My book, though, is still hiding in the shadows. I wanted to have this book finished and ready for submission before I re-entered the workforce. As fate would have it, I am still unemployed. I was given the gift of time, and it wasn’t to be used to waste it. I wanted time to write, and I have it.
So, instead of using November as a month to create a new novel, I will use it to add 25,000 more words to my book and finally finish the editing process. I hope that come December, I will be ready to create and submit my query letters. Then, it would be a matter of time before my book is published; time that I could use to write a new book.