Diary of a Fat Girl

What Do You Do When Your Accountability Partner Isn’t So Accountable?

Weight: 254 lbs.

I walked the other day, slowly building up my time so my body could get used to regular exercise. However, I was a bit irritated with my husband. He seemed aloof and not interested at all. Even when I showed him how much Christmas candy he consumed compared to mine and our daughters. I could see the guilt written all over his face, but he still seemed to have no desire to accomplish his goal.

My husband is my accountability partner. He and I would lift and encourage each other to continue and reach our weight loss goals and a healthy lifestyle. What happened?

I have not felt so accountable in the last couple of days. Sitting on the couch and relaxing after shuffling around all week is too easy. I am in a constant state of motion chasing after the girls to get them to school on time, to do their chores, study, or do something else other than lying on their backsides listening to their MP3 players all day long. At the end of the day, my back hurts, my feet hurts, and my head hurts.

All I need is a daily reminder of how good my body feels when I exercise regularly. My clothes used to fit better, I looked good, and my confidence was much better, too. If my husband is having an off day, maybe I need to find another accountability partner who is just as interested in weight loss and a healthy lifestyle as I am. Maybe, I just need to get creative.

I signed up with SparkPeople this past summer. It is a great community of people searching for the same goals. I can track my weight, measurements, workouts, and what I consume. They even have a flexible meal plan with a shopping list and many more tools to help along the journey. It is a free site for anyone who wants to accomplish a healthy lifestyle. The SparkPeople community is ready and available for those who struggle with accountability partners. In the meantime, I have another option in my home other than my husband and the Internet.

I have me!

For the last couple of years, I have been working on this goal of mine to lose weight (sometimes obsessing over it). I have researched and blogged about it; I even tried a new diet. Now, it is time I utilize all of my hard work. Whenever my husband is not accountable, I just need to turn to myself, read one of my blogs, and get inspired to move on. After all, it was a time in my life when I had amazing willpower and a ton of motivation. Maybe, I can even learn a few things I have forgotten along the way.

Eventually, this Gemini will merge with herself and regain that strength and desire she once had to see through each goal. Hopefully, my husband will see this, and it will help him with his own goals.

For now, I am off to figure out how to motivate my husband…