Diary of a Fat Girl

What Do You Do When Your Accountability Partner Isn’t So Accountable?

Day 54

Weight: 254 lbs.

I walked the other day; slowly building up my time so that my body could get use to regular exercise.  However, I was a bit irritated with my husband.  He seemed aloof and not interested at all.  Even when I showed him how much Christmas candy he had consumed in comparison to mine and our daughters.  I could see the guilt written all over his face, but he still seemed to have no desire to accomplish his goal.

My husband is my accountability partner.  He and I would lift each other up and encourage each other to keep on going on; to reach our goals in weight loss and a healthy lifestyle.  What happened?

In the last couple of days, I have not felt so accountable myself.  It is too easy to sit on the couch and relax after shuffling around all week.  I am in a constant state of motion chasing after the girls to get them to school on time, to do their chores, study, or something else other than lying on their backsides listening to their MP3 players all day long.  At the end of the day my back hurts, my feet hurt, and my head hurts.

All I need is a reminder each day of how good my body felt when I was exercising regularly.  My clothes use to fit better, I looked good, and my confidence was much better, too.  If my husband is having an off day, maybe I need to find another accountability partner that is just as much interested in weight loss and a healthy lifestyle as I am.  Maybe, I just need to get creative.


I signed up with SparkPeople this past summer.  It is a great community of people searching for the same goals.  I can track my weight, measurements, workouts, and what I consume.  They even have a flexible meal plan with a shopping list and many more tools to help along the journey.  It is a free site for anyone who would like to accomplish a healthy lifestyle, and the community on SparkPeople is ready and available for those who struggle with accountability partners.  In the meantime, I do have another option in my home other than my husband and the Internet.

I have me!

For the last couple of years, I have been working on this goal of mine to lose weight (sometimes, obsessing over it).  I have researched and blogged about it; even tried a new diet.  Now, it is time I utilize all of my hard work.  Whenever my husband is not accountable, I just need to turn to me, read one of my blogs and get inspired to move on.  After all, it was a time in my life when I had amazing willpower and a ton of motivation.  Maybe, I can even learn a few things that I have forgotten along the way.

Eventually, this Gemini will merge with herself and regain that strength and desire she once had to see through each goal.  Hopefully, my husband will see this, and it will help him along in his own goals.

For now, I am off to figure out a way to motivate my husband…