Tall Tale Tuesdays

A Ferret Named Billy


Today, I woke up to the sun streaming in my windows. The soft glow interrupted my dreaming state at the precise moment when the Prince was about to kiss me. How terribly disappointed I was not to touch his lips with mine.

After my morning breakfast, I decided that the day was too nice to be cooped up inside all day long. I quickly dressed into a pair of green shorts and an orange t-shirt. Sliding into my running shoes, I grabbed the leash and hooked it to my ferret’s collar. Billy goes with me everywhere. He is really cute and the guys love him. I can’t stand his smell, but it’s worth it as long as I can get a date out of it.

I drove to the boardwalk where I knew many people would be gathered on such a beautiful day as today, and Billy and I began our walk. After a few dogs barked and a couple of annoying children stopped us so that they could pet Billy, I finally ran into one handsome stud.

No kidding! I literally ran into him. I scrapped my elbow and both knees as my body crashed on the hard concrete walk. He held out his hand to help me to my feet and declared that he was a doctor. How dreamy he was!

He said his name was Jim. He had bright blue eyes that seemed to have pierced through to my soul, short black hair, and a stocky muscular build. My heart skipped a few beats as I ran my hands down the length of those giant arms.

He guided me over to a picnic table and cared for my wounds. We chatted for what seemed like hours (but was actually 20 minutes), and then he noticed Billy. I was dreaming of our worlds becoming a perfect mingle of flesh until he screamed.

My jaw dropped. I was frightened by this odd behavior. I had no idea where it was coming from until he jumped up onto the picnic table, pointed at Billy, and yelled in a high pitched tone, “Get that rat away from me!”

I looked down at Billy and saw that he was scurrying around in fear. Looking for a place to hide, he slipped loose from his leash and ran into the wooded area. My heart dropped as I realized that Billy would be in great harm if I didn’t run after him. Looking up in sheer disappointment at this “man-child” on the table, I ran after my pet to look for him.

I searched for nearly an hour and could not find him. With my head hung low, I returned to the picnic table where that brute sat whimpering from his ordeal.

“Is he gone?” Jim asked in a shaky tone.

“Yeah, he is,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes.

“Good,” He said.

My jaw dropped in disbelief. How could such a wonderful, kind, caring and intelligent man turn into such a sobbing, careless fool? All I could think of was poor Billy and this man could only think of himself.

Jim straightened his posture and said, “Listen, I don’t think I could be with a woman who considers rats for pets. Have a good day.”

Shocked, I watched him adjust his pants as he sauntered away towards the boardwalk.

“That ruthless, arrogant, inconsiderate, son of a…” I began, but stopped myself short as I noticed the leaves rustling on the floor where the trees lined the park. My eyes squinted and I leaned in closer to get a better look. Staring back at me were two little beady black eyes from a gray and black striped animal.

“Billy!” I screamed running to pick him up. I hugged him tight and was releived that he was not harmed but safe in my arms.

He may be smelly, but I would never choose a coward over my ferret!